Shock news for a Friday night

Before I say anything else, I have to admit to being a little the worst for wear today. It was a rather long and lively evening at the Club and I am not at my best this afternoon. I can’t help feeling I must be getting old when a drink or three over the odds leaves me feeling a little delicate.

I was at the Club when one of the old retainers sidled over to me and passed on the juiciest bit of gossip. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not one for idle chitter-chatter and would normally have shushed the man away, but as his news involved one of my particular friends, I just had to hear him out.

Well, it seems that my old chum Dorchester has gone and got himself engaged to be married.

I know! It’s quite a surprise. I almost dropped my glass of Glenlivet when I heard. The strange thing about it is that I only saw him at the weekend, just before we left Ascot, and the blighter never said a thing.

Sure, I had heard he was getting very close to a young foreign lady, but I had no idea it was serious. Who would have thought it hey? The scourge of the female dorms brought to heel by a foreigner.

Mind you, he isn’t the first to fall for their exotic charms and even more exotic ways. I’ve seen it all before, and it always ends badly. I mean, these foreign women just don’t understand our ways, and, why should they? Even European women can be trouble on the matrimony front, but the further east you go the more trouble you are asking for.

And that is what worries me about Dorchester’s proposed nuptials. You see, according to old Neighsmith, the lady in question is from the far east – the Philippines he believes. We all know that Filipinoes aren’t for marrying. They make excellent domestic help, apparently, but you should never consider marrying them. That just isn’t on.

Neighsmith has it on good authority that his new-found lady love has actually come to him through some kind of online agency. I have heard that online shopping is all the rage at the moment, but I hadn’t realised you could actually buy a bride this way. Of course, Neighsmith could very well be wrong. It wouldn’t be the first time the poor chap has grasped the wrong end of the stick and got his hands messy.

But why would a decent chap like Dorchester want to marry a Filipino for heaven’s sake? I mean, by all means take one as a domestic or whatever, but not as a wife. It is a ghastly idea and I do hope it is all a bit of a misunderstanding. If it is true than I really do worry about the future for our great country. I for one have no intention of heading down this particular path. Heaven forbid!

Of course it goes without saying that I am not a racist. Anyone who knows me will tell you that. It is just that we need to keep up standards or what will become of us all? I think it is safe to say that all the chaps are of the same mind as myself over this. I am hoping to see Dorchester whilst at Wimbledon this year. Hopefully then I can get to the bottom of this.

In the meantime I think it is time I called it a day and got myself ready for the evening. Aunt Murdock has invited me to the theatre to see some play or another. Not sure what it is, but I have to keep the old dear happy as she has her hands on the old purse strings so to speak.

 

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